Overcoming the Comparison Trap for Bloggers and Girl Bosses

- Lauren Gill
one shoulder dress in soho

one shoulder dress in soho one shoulder dress in soho
one shoulder dress in sohoone shoulder dress in sohoone shoulder dress in sohoone shoulder dress in sohoone shoulder dress in sohoone shoulder dress in soho

Photos by the amazing Cassidy Hopkins.

Outfit details: dress: here // shoes: here // purse: here // watch: here (discount code:LIFEOFLAURR) // earrings: here

 

Alright, I was just going to make this another outfit post (since I finally found a great photographer, Cassidy Hopkins, in NYC). But, I decided to go a bit off the cuff and talk about something that’s been on my mind a lot recently… the comparison trap.

comparison trap

 

I think that this so-called “comparison trap” occurs in just about every aspect and stage of life. Starting in elementary school I remember girls comparing themselves. They would say things to me like “you’re SO short” and to other girls, “you’re TOO tall,” honestly it was cruel. Even as I’ve gotten older, the idea of comparing yourself to others doesn’t really go away. I still think sometimes, Wow I wish I was at least a few inches taller or What if I had that amazing body. Truthfully, running a blog does not make avoiding this comparison trap any easier.

Being a blogger and “social influencer” means putting yourself out there on the internet and across social media. Honestly, this is something that I have struggled with since I’ve started blogging.  Standing at only 5 feet tall, sometimes I feel ridiculous getting my photos taken and worried that people think I’m trying to be a model.  But, I LOVE fashion. I’ve always loved fashion. And what is the easiest way to share outfits with your readers? Photograph yourself in them, duh.

Do I ever see photos of gorgeous bloggers traveling the world and going to glamorous places? Yes. Do I wish I was there instead of at my office in NYC? Probably. But, I’m happy that I got a job right after graduation in New York and have been working hard to learn every aspect of the industry over the past few months. Some people may not get to move to a new city after graduation or even have the luxury of picking what industry to work in. I always try to remember to be thankful for my experiences!

So while I may not ever be that Instagram model, I remember that I do this because it’s my passion. I love writing, creating content, crafting aesthetically pleasing feeds, and connecting with all of you! I enjoy putting outfits together, trying new restaurants, and exploring new areas.

 

I’ve also met some great girls through this blogging world, and some of them I can honestly call true friends.

 

 

The blogging industry can be cutthroat and competitive. People will comment rude things or act unfriendly when you reach out to them.  I have so much respect for well-known bloggers who take the time to answer DMs or get personal and real on videos.  All of us bloggers, or just #girlboss women, can probably relate in more ways than we think. I’ve found that girls are more self-conscious than guys, and as women with influence, it is our job to build each other up and not comment nasty messages across the internet. I get so excited when I see one of my blogger friends working with an amazing brand or posting beautiful photos, that I always want to share or like their posts!

Overall, there might always be people out there who you are envious of and want something that they have. Just remember, they could be thinking the same exact thing about you! The comparison trap is real, and we can all learn to overcome it. Try not to compare yourself to others because, as cheesy as it sounds, we are all unique and amazing in different ways.

Bloggers- No need to be competitive or rude to other content creators, we should be supportive! Girl Bosses- Keep doing you. Share your talents and support others who may need your help.

As part of this community, I encourage you to compliment three people today and see what a difference it makes. Also feel free to share this with your girl gang to get the conversation started and truly appreciate each other. I’ve found that being kind and supportive to others also makes you feel good about yourself, appreciate less superficial traits, and overcome the comparison trap.

 

Xx,

Lauren

57 thoughts on “Overcoming the Comparison Trap for Bloggers and Girl Bosses”

  3. This is a great post! It’s SO important to celebrate ourselves without looking at what others are doing. And, your outfit is super cute!

  4. Such a great post! I think this is one of the biggest issues in the blogging world to date. You do you and good things will happen! I wish everyone had that mindset so there would be less anxiety and stress about what other people are doing.

    1. Thank you so much, Ashley! I totally agree that when you are yourself, good things come 🙂

      Xx,

      Lauren

  5. You look gorgeous!! Love this look and I love this message!! We have to remember that we are just as amazing as the next person!! Such an amazing post!!

  11. Everyone gets caught up in the comparison game, whether they like to believe they do or not. This was so nice to read a positive outlook on the blogging world & how to be friendly instead of vicious. 🙂

  12. I love this Lauren! It’s so true. If I ever start to compare, I will usually make sure to leave an awesome comment and hope to connect with that blogger or girlboss because you never know who will inspire you or maybe even be a new friend!

    1. Thank you so much, Kara! That’s such a good idea to leave a nice comment 🙂 I love making new blogger friends too!

      Xx

  13. This is such an important post! Collaboration over competition always! I’m SO over the competitiveness of the blogging/influencer realm. BORING! Would much rather support other people and get excited for them when they experience little wins, too!

    http://hollyhabeck.com

    1. I 100% agree with you, Holly!! Also, your blog site is adorable. Definitely going to follow along 🙂

      Xx

  16. Great reminder! It is so easy to get caught up wanting what someone else has that you forget to enjoy what you have AND the process to get it! Thanks for posting and sharing this!!

  18. This is such a great post and definitely a message that needs to be spread throughout the community! I think we all get caught up in the comparison game sometimes, but it’s important to remember that everyone has a different journey 🙂

    Also, I love your dress – you look great girl!!

    Kristen | http://www.sophisticatedgal.com

  20. Love the idea of complimenting 3 people per day. The comparison trap is so real though. It’s definitely something all women and especially bloggers experience.

  22. Love your post, your pictures, and your attitude! As a new blogger, I haven’t come across negative comments yet but I am sure it will be crushing when it happens. And it’s inevitable as some gals just are not supportive and are so overly competitive by nature. I make an effort to compliment others, I believe that what you give out will come back to you!

  23. Comparing yourself to other bloggers is the worst thing someone can do. I use to do that in the beginning of my blogging journey and then I just stopped doing it because it was making me feel negative about what I was doing.

    p.s. loving this outfit

  25. I completely agree! It can be so easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to other bloggers. But I do think that connecting and collaborating with others allows us to make friends instead of getting stuck in comparison!

  27. Hi Lauren!

    This si such a great post. You’re so right, as influencers and Bloggers we are automatically putting ourselves out there BUT at the same time we need to learn how not to underestimate what we have to offer by comparing ourselves to others. I always refer back to the quote: Comparison is the thief of joy. When you worry or think on what someone else has that you don’t – you loos the joy of what you do have.

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